might you think…, and I am already 30! (20, 35, 45, 80… fill in your age).
If you feel comfortable about being single and think that you are quite happy to live like that until the rest of your life, please ignore this article. Nothing is wrong with being single if this is what you want.
But if deeeeeep inside your heart there is something that shrinks with pain at this question, if you feel like you are a loser because you’re still single, keep reading. Feelings like that should not be ignored.
We are not used to discussing it really. We pretend that we are doing great, and that this issue of being single is not even an issue. AT ALL!
But if to be really honest, when one-on-one with ourselves there is this painful question pending out there:
“WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?!”
Am I not beautiful/ handsome enough?
That is probably because I am fat.
I am not really sexy
I don’t have a beautiful body
Am I weird?
I have it all!!!! but they are still not attracted to me!!!
It seems like some people sort out this dating issue pretty quickly. They aren’t any super duper handsome of beautiful. Or smart or attractive. They simply date, get married, and live happily ever after – easy peasy.
But some other – super smart, witty, sexy, attractive, promising, etc., etc, – stay single or jump from one unfulfilling relationship to another. And the years tick tack by…
Let me tell you one thing: nothing is wrong with you! You are amazing! But the results you are getting in your life are not just a coincidence. They are there to draw your attention to one simple truth: you get what you want.
Hold on for a second! – I hear you screaming – I do NOT want to be single, quite the opposite, I want to meet the love of my life and get happily married.
I hear you. You get what you subconsciously want. And it can be quite the opposite of what you think you want.
Psychologists claim that our behavior, habits and lifestyle are 90% run by our subconsciousness and only 10% is influenced by consciousness (what we understand and control). Our subconscious mind can be compared to a huge iceberg where the most of it is hidden under the surface. Subconscious mind doesn’t analyze things. Once you’ve created an opinion about something (35 years ago) it is sent into subconsciousness and on the conscious level you might not even remember it anymore.
So lets imagine that once long time ago as a child you witnessed a situation when your dad was mean to your mom and you as a little kid made a conclusion that “men are dangerous, it’s better to stay away from them”. Is it an objective conclusion? No. Does it make sense to you as an adult? No. You might have forgotten about the situation and on your conscious level you of course want to be with a man, but the program written in your subconsciousness is guiding your behavior so that you will make everything possible to avoid men! This is not because your subconscious is stupid, it’s there to protect you.
How do we transform an outdated statement that is hindering us?
By shedding a light on it. By looking it in the face and doubting it (even though it feels like a common sense) – is it logical to believe this?
I remember myself back in the day struggling with finding a perfect man. Those who I liked didn’t like me and those who liked me I would not go for. I saw a discrepancy that I couldn’t explain and it was hard. That was until the moment I read an article or a book, I don’t even remember what it was. There was a statement there that shed a light on me, one of those “eureka” moments when you see it all perfectly clear. I saw my false believe, a statement that was blocking me from reaching what I wanted. After this enlightenment I knew exactly what I wanted and only two months later my husband came into my life.
In order to attract a man of your dreams it is crucial to discover and get rid of the negative statements that stay on your way. You can wait for an “eureka” moment and they do happen if we are asking and praying for revelation. Another effective way that I know of is to do that through coaching when someone like myself can help you to see and correct your negative statements.
There is a helpful exercise to discover what your beliefs could be about the topic of marriage, relationship and the opposite sex. Write down your thoughts on the following topics: “Men are – ….”, “Family life is – ….”, “Marriage is -…”. As you are writing try not to think too much and not to analyze. Just write what first comes to mind. That will most likely be your subconscious statements. If you find anything negative, scary and less than pleasing – congratulations, you just saw a glimpse of what hinders you on your way to a happy marriage!
Did you do the excercise? What did you find out? Feel free to share in the comments below!